Much of a Dutchness

Jenni Rigby sings the praises of Amsterdam. [Sep 04]

Once upon a time, Protestants and Catholics decided to set up camp together in a pretty corner of the Netherlands. For once, they didn’t immediately start killing each other, but practised a policy of tolerance.. .and hey presto, Amsterdam as we know it was born.

Of course, it’s often in the news for being ‘soft’ - soft on drugs, soft on porn, soft on tricky moral issues - but it’s not often mentioned that it's soft on the eyes, too: by which I mean that Amsterdam is a beautiful city. And it’s not in-yer-face beauty either, but the sort of homely ‘I-could-live-here-and-it -would-be-great’ beauty that a city has to grow into naturally.

Sod Venice, swarming with tourists and smelling of shit. Come to Amsterdam if canals are your bag; there’s tons of them, but the Dutch aren’t dumb enough to do away with roads, so they aren’t irritating dead-ends to wherever you want to go. The centre of the city is arranged in concentric ring canals (Herengracht, Keizersgracht and Prinsengracht), which are grand, friendly and individual. Well worth an aimless wander for the unusual shops and bars that you’ll find there.
To the west of the ring canals is the Jordaan, where there’s lovely archtiecture and lots of interesting nooks and crannies to be found. Really, though, to explore the Amsterdam experience, there’s four essential ‘to do’ things.

One is to eat a pancake bigger than your face at The Pancake Bakery, a large, convivial noshing house near the centre. Two is to indulge in at least one activity which is illegal at home and tolerantly ignored here - marry someone of your own sex, for example. Three is to go to the Anne Frank House and let it all hit home in an instantly sobering sort of way. Whilst you’re feeling cultured, the other big museums are all worth a look - the Rijksmuseum, full of old art; the Stedelijk, full of newer art; and the Van Gogh museum, full of, well, Van Gogh, duh. Legend has it that there’s some sort of sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll museum, but it may just be legend. And four is to wander round like a prat going ‘Oh, look at that house, it’s really tall and thin and painted red’. If you don’t want to walk, take a canal cruise starting from near Central Station, where some bloke can say ‘Oh look at that house, it’s really tall and thin and painted red’, and you’ll all go, ‘Ahhhh’.

In terms of where to stay, it all depends on your budget and how keen you are on sleeping. For budget travellers of any age, The Flying Pig is perhaps the best hostel in Europe, legendary among backpackers, cheap (expect to pay around 15-30 euros, depending on how many bedroom companions you're comfortable with), cheerful and a little bit grubby.

If this sounds like your version of hell, there’s ‘nice’ hotels aplenty in Amsterdam, but booking ahead is well-advised as they all get full pretty quick in high season. The Netherlands Reservations Centre (tel: 0031/299 689 144; fax 0031/299 689 154, www.hotelres.nl) are happy to help, as are the city’s VVVs (tourist offices), although the queues can get terrifyingly massive. If you feel a little adventurous, ask at the VVVs about staying on a houseboat: often more expensive and more luxurious than rented apartments, plus you’re floating. How cool is that?

Food is nothing to write home about, unless your letters home usually say ‘Pretty nice food here, but a bit pricey - Indonesian cuisine is particularly good’. If you're going to write home about something, make it the nightlife. Amsterdam is a late city anyway, with the shops opening until the wee small hours. It’s very buzzy, and the gay scene is particularly famous. There are lots of massive clubs of the sort you’d normally find in a city, but most unusual and special is ‘t Blauwe Theehuis, outdoor partying in the Vondelpark on Fridays and Saturdays.

PS: Everyone speaks English. Mostly better than you. Careful of the trams.

Easyjet are currently offering return flights to Amsterdam from Bristol Amsterdam for £65 including taxes.

Short break Gara Rock, Devon

You can get married here if you wanna. We know this because Venue (not the whole magazine, silly) is getting drunk at one as we speak. It’s great ‘cos happy bride and groom get exclusive use of said venue, can ensure that great aunt Maude will get home safely after her 50-odd sherries since you can all bunk up upstairs in one of the ample rooms the hotel has to offer, and, basically, leave all the messy stuff (food, booze) to them. If you’re not getting married, you can go and stay anyway (but not this weekend, please). Why? Because you’re right on the doorstep of some honest sea air, not to mention gut-wrenching boat rides across to Salcombe, fishing and birdwatching, and cobweb-clearing coastal walks Ð of which they’ve set out a few for you on the website, bless ‘em, with routes carefully explained and even how long they approximate it will take you, staying on track permitting. The hotel itself is a former coastguard station and lookout, and comes chock with facilities to keep you and the family more than suitably busy. Find a swimming pool and tennis court, four and a half acres of gardens and barbeques, fully-licensed bar with all-day menu, evening entertainment, aromatherapy massage, daily delivery of newspapers and more. And the prices ain’t half bad, either, since certain rooms can house up to ten of you. (Rebecca Dean)

Gara Rock East Portlemouth, Salcombe, Devon. Ffi: (01548) 842342

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