Words Melissa Blease

• Few experiences in life are as disheartening as the realisation that a formerly reliable old friend is gradually morphing into a disappointing, lacklustre version of their former selves, so much so that eventually one has no option but to consider calling time on a relationship that’s past its sell-by date. Right now, my formerly gratifying relationship with the Hong Kong Bistro has hit such an impasse.

Two years ago, the HKB overlooked the building site that eventually turned into the Southgate shopping complex. At the time, I predicted a brilliant future for this once-lively, independent Far Eastern-themed diner that maintained exemplary standards of quality and value even when the only view from the window tables was of dust rising over the pile of rubble that eventually turned into Debenhams. I foresaw a gleaming beacon of real (as in, fresh and healthy) fast food in the midst of the franchise hell to come. I envisaged that the only problem the future would hold that might possibly interrupt my regular HKB patronage would be huge queues of retail junkies taking a (very short) walk off the trademarked, corporate-heavy beaten track to chow down on real chow mein. Oh, how wrong I was.

On my last HKB excursion – the most recent of three similarly unsatisfactory visits – the moment the uncrispiest, unlambish ‘crispy lamb’ ever to be slung onto a cold saucer hit the table (and I use the word ‘hit’ quite literally), I knew that the sun had set on the HKB’s glory days. A pad thai – formerly a reliably good choice – was little more than a pile of overcooked, damp noodles topped with a scraping of lukewarm peanut mulch and three rubbery king prawns. A special satay – once a densely flavoured, aromatic broth melange – reminded me of dishwater topped with the detritus from the food recycling caddy, and the only thing ‘special’ about the chef's special noodles was that it wasn’t the dish we ordered (we ate it anyway ’cos the waiter refused to correct his mistake; it largely consisted of soggy bean sprouts, raw spring onions and over-boiled egg). With a bottle of bargain-priced house wine, our sad supper for three came to under £40. Yes, it was cheap. Yes, the wine was good. But no, I won’t be going back.

THE HONG KONG BISTRO 33 SOUTHGATE, BATH, TEL: 01225 318500.

VENUE VERDICT

SURELY – AND SORELY? – IN URGENT NEED OF REINVENTION
 

Copyright Melissa Blease 2011

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