Pointless remakes, endless comicbook adaptations, lots of alien invasions and a flood of sequels that read like an especially goal-heavy edition of Final Score (Spy Kids 4, Final Destination 5). Yep - 2011 is shaping up to be much the same as previous years, except that every-bloody-thing is in 3D. Robin Askew leads you through the potential highlights and lowlights.

January

We're in awards season, so that means lots of Important Movies about Serious Subjects. There's Hilary Swank as a resourceful single mom out to clear her brother's name in Conviction (Jan 14); Peter Mullan's impressive '70s-set gang violence drama, NEDS (Jan 14); Darren Aronofsky's utterly bonkers yet perversely enjoyable ballet thriller, Black Swan (Jan 21), starring Natalie Portman; the annual Clint Eastwood flick, Hereafter (Jan 28); and Barney's Version, an adaptation of Mordecai Richler's final novel with a meaty role for Paul Giamatti. Light relief comes in the form of Roger Michell's surprisingly amusing Morning Glory (Jan 28) with Harrison Ford and Diane Keaton as warring co-hosts of a failing breakfast TV show. For nippers, the jolly 3D animation Tangled (Jan 28) is a reworking of Rapunzel from the director of 'Bolt'.

February

Awards season drama continues with Rowan Joffe's update of Graham Greene's Brighton Rock (Feb 3) to the mods'n'rockers 60s. The cast includes Helen Mirren, John Hurt, Andy Serkis and Sam Riley in the Richard Attenborough role as Pinky. Also gaining awards heat and out on the same day is The Fighter - a kind of upmarket 'Rocky' based on a true story, with Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale as pugilist half-siblings. True Grit (Feb 11) really is a Coen brothers remake of the John Wayne flick about a gnarly US marshal who helps a stubborn young woman track down her father's murderer. On the same day, Keira Knightley and Carey Mulligan star in Alex Garland's adaptation of Kazuo Ishiguro's parallel universe novel Never Let Me Go, in which clones are bred to supply spare bits and bobs. And on Feb 25, James Franco stars in Howl, a drama based on the obscenity trial Allen Ginsberg faced after publication of his eponymous poem. February also brings Valentine's Day, and this year romantics are being punished by romcoms starring such gruesome twosomes as Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher (No Strings Attached - Feb 11) and Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston (Just Go With It - Feb 11) as well as the new one from the director of the execrable 'All About Steve': The Chalet Girl (Feb 18). More promising is Sanctum (Feb 4), or 'James Cameron's Sanctum' as it's known in the US, though Cameron only has a producing role. It's a 3D cave diving thriller in which something goes horribly wrong in the largest, most beautiful and least accessible cave system on earth. Not for claustrophobics, then. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost team up again as writers and stars of the science fiction comedy, Paul (Feb 18). This is about a pair of British comicbook geeks travelling across America who encounter an alien outside Area 51. That rather belated 'East Is East' sequel, inevitably entitled West Is West, shows up on Feb 25. This time the cultural traffic is in the opposite direction as troubled English teen Sajib Khan is packed off to Pakistan and his father George's (Om Puri) Wife Number One to learn a lesson about tradition. For serious, timely documentary, look no further than Inside Job (Feb 18). Narrated by Matt Damon, it explores the global financial meltdown, tracing "the rise of a rogue industry which has corrupted politics, regulation, and academia".

March

Paul Giamatti is back as - I shit you not - King John in Ironclad (March 4).This is a historical romp in which a determined group of 13th century Knights Templar defend Rochester Castle against the tyrannical King. After the feeble 'Across the Universe', Julie Taymor returns to Shakespeare for an adaptation of The Tempest (March 4) in which the main character is a woman, Prospera (Helen Mirren). Watch out for, erm, Russell Brand as Trinculo. The much-delayed The Adjustment Bureau allegedly arrives on March 11. Matt Damon and Emily Blunt star in ‘Bourne Ultimatum’ screenwriter George Nolfi’s directorial debut: an adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s story ‘Adjustment Team’. Elsewhere, there's alien invasion in Battle: Los Angeles (March 11), Roman Britain romp The Eagle (March 18), this year's Woody Allen flick, You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (March 18), and a timely drama entitled The Company Men (March 11), following a year in the lives of three family men at the pointy end of corporate downsizing.

April

SCREAM! It's Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (April 1) Must… resist… obvious… riposte. He's in 3D too, girls! On the same day comes Nick Hamm's pleasingly titled Killing Bono a comedy about two brothers (Ben Barnes, Robert Sheehan) who dream about becoming global rock stars but are rather put out when a rival school band - U2 - grabs all the fame and glory. Also on April 1, Oranges and Sunshine tells the true story of British social worker Margaret Humphreys (Emily Watson), who uncovered the scandal of the forced migration of children in care to Australia. Winnie the Pooh (April 15) marks Disney's return to AA Milne for the studio's first 2D animation since 'The Princess and the Frog'. And the flood of comicbook adaptations continues with Ken Branagh's version of Stan Lee's Thor (April 29), with Chris Hemsworth as Thor and Anthony Hopkins as Odin.

May

Paul Bettany disobeys his church to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece in the functionally titled Priest (May 13). It's based on a comicbook, obviously. The blockbuster season kicks off on May 18 with Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. No Keira Knightley this time, nor - mercifully - Orlando Bloom, as Johnny Depp commandeers the franchise for the fourth instalment. This time he's after the Fountain of Youth, only to find that Blackbeard (Ian McShane) is after it too. Penelope Cruz performs babe duties. The Hangover 2 (May 27) is the inevitable sequel to the comedy hit of a couple of years back. All the old gang are on board, but a proposed cameo by Mel Gibson was nixed following protests from cast and crew.

June

After 'Wolverine' stiffed, Fox will be hoping for a hit with X-Men: First Class (June 3), a prequel about the early years of Magneto (Michael Fassbender) and Professor Xavier (James McAvoy). Green Lantern (June 17) is yet another comicbook adaptation. This one's directed by Martin Campbell and based on the DC Comics yarn about a test pilot who turns into the eponymous verdant superhero. Ryan Reynolds stars. On the same day Jack Black returns (in voice form) for a further helping of animated ursine kung-fu alleged fun in Kung Fu Panda 2.

July

Transformers 3 (July 3) is, as the title suggests, a third dose of loud toy advertisement action from Michael Bay. Need it be added that this instalment is in 3D? The Potter franchise finally concludes on July 15 with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II. The 23 people who haven't read the book can now find out what happens in the end. Cars 2 (July 22) sees Pixar sequelising its least interesting film. This time Owen Wilson's Lightning McQueen and his pal Mater embark on a globe-trotting adventure to take on the world's fastest cars. Captain America: The First Avenger (July 29) is yet another Marvel comicbook adaptation. This one stars Chris Evans as the patriotic superhero devoted to "defending America's ideals". D'ya reckon he'll get to do any water-boarding?

August

Andy Serkis stars in Rise of the Apes (Aug 5), a 'Planet of the Apes' "origin story" set in present-day San Francisco, where genetic engineering experiments result in apes coming over all clever. If you haven't already planned your holiday, you may wish to time it to coincide with the arrival in cinemas of The Smurfs (Aug 5), a 3D CGI/live action film about the little blue people, who are chased from their village and wind up in New York. If Cowboys and Aliens (Aug 12) does what it says on the tin, it should be a lot of fun. A spaceship lands in 1873 Arizona to take over the Earth. Only cowboys Harrison Ford, Daniel Craig and chums can stop 'em. Conan the Barbarian (Aug 19) is a new adaptation of the Robert E. Howard pulp adventures about the barbarian who sets out to avenge the death of his father. No Arnold Schwarzenegger this time, though. Instead, we get Jason Momoa from, uh, 'Baywatch'. Sequels: Spy Kids 4 (Aug 19) and Final Destination 5 (Aug 26)

September

How time flies! It's Jane Eyre's (Sept 9) turn for the remake treatment once again. Mia Wasikowsa (Alice from Tim Burton's 'Alice in Wonderland') gets the title role in this latest version of the Charlotte Bronte yarn, with Michael Fassbender as Edward Rochester and Judi Dench as Mrs Fairfax. For the chaps, 'Let the Right One In' director Tomas Alfredson adapts the John Le Carre Cold War spy classic Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (Sept 16), with a cast that includes Colin Firth, Benedict Cumberpatch and Gary Oldman as George Smiley.

October

It's crappy remake month! Take your pick from Footloose (Oct 14), The Thing (Oct 14), The Three Musketeers (Oct 14) - by the consistently useless Paul W.S. Anderson, no less - and Straw Dogs (Oct 28), which has been relocated to the US deep South. The only big movie is Steven Spielberg's The Adventures of Tintin: Secret of the Unicorn (Oct 26), with Jamie Bell as Tintin and Andy Serkis as Captain Haddock. We've no idea who's been cast as Snowy.

November

Arthur Christmas (Nov 11) is our very own Aardman Animations' first feature film for Sony: a 3D CGI animated festive comedy promising to reveal Santa's secret ultra-high-tech operation beneath the North Pole and explain how he manages to visit all the world's nippers in one night. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn (Nov 18) poses all kinds of questions. Will Bella ever have sex? If so, with whom? Does anyone over 13 actually care? As with the last Potter flick, we'll have to wait until next year for a definitive answer, because this one's being split into two revenue-boosting parts.

December

Puss in Boots (Dec 9) is that Shrek prequel we've all been waiting for. Tom Cruise returns for a fourth impossible mission as Ethan Hunt (let's hope James Naughtie doesn’t interview him) in Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (Dec 16). On the same day, Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes 2 reunites the old gang but has been rather upstaged by the superior BBC version. The year ends with that "eagerly-anticipated" US remake of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Dec 26) by David Fincher, with Rooney Mara (who she?) taking the role originally played by Noomi Rapace.
 

Copyright Robin Askew 2011

Tweet