FILM

USA 2011 129 mins Dir: Stephen Daldry Starring: Tom Hanks, Thomas Horn, Sandra Bullock, John Goodman, Max von Sydow, Viola Davis, Jeffrey Wright, Zoe Caldwell

Awards season always brings a handful of shameful dreary duffers: films seemingly constructed solely to tug the heartstrings of the voting constituency (i.e. elderly, American). The plinky-plonky piano and plangent strings of emotional manipulation kick in from the opening scene of 'Billy Elliot' director Stephen Daldry's vile stinker, adapted by veteran treaclemeister Eric ('Forrest Gump', etc) Roth from a novel by the author of the similarly sentimental 'Everything is Illuminated'. The event we are obliged to call 9/11 is co-opted as a backdrop to this contrived, nauseating mush. And when it emerges that none other than Tom Hanks, playing a Saintly Dad, has perished in the rubble, leaving behind half-a-dozen answerphone messages during his final minutes, it's either positively unpatriotic not to shower the movie with awards or time to call for a bigger sickbucket. You decide.

With Tom out of the way, but continuing to haunt the film in flashback whenever hankies threaten to lose their moistness, the film focuses on his bereaved wifey (Bullock) and son Oskar (Horn) - big hint there Mr. Academy - with whom we are presumably intended to empathise because he's borderline Asperger's, suffers from multiple phobias and carries a tambourine everywhere. But he's actually just painfully precocious and annoying. Plot? Well, the grating kid finds a key in an envelope with the word 'Black' written on it, which he takes to be a message from Deceased Dad. Naturally, he then attempts to track down everyone in New York with the surname Black. One of them tells him to f*ck off, which provides temporary cheer. But you just know she'll be blubbing too come closing credits time. (Robin Askew)

website extremelyloudandincrediblyclose.warnerbros.com/

Opens: February 17

Copyright Robin Askew 2012