FILM

UK 2011 123 mins Dir: John Madden Starring: Maggie Smith, Bill Nighy, Judi Dench, Tom Wilkinson, Dev Patel, Penelope Wilton, Celia Imrie, Ronald Pickup

Machine-tooled for the 'Calendar Girls' mature lady audience, this comfy, somewhat predictable and mildly patronising Britflick adds a dash of Indian bustle and colour to its gentle twilight years humour. Adapted from a novel by Deborah Moggach and directed by John ('Shakespeare in Love') Madden, it stars a veritable Who's Who of top pensionable homegrown talent, plus Dev Patel from 'Slumdog Millionaire' in the Comedy Indian role.

In traditional style, opening scenes intercut between the characters as they're introduced. Henpecked Bill Nighy and his ghastly social climbing wife Penelope Wilton are looking at depressing retirement apartments. Priapic Ronald Pickup is pretending to be a much younger man at speed-dating events. Judi Dench is lost without her late husband, who took charge of everything. Tom Wilkinson is a retired barrister with a Big Secret set to be revealed at a dramatically opportune moment. And cantankerous, racist, wheelchair-bound Maggie Smith is making her nurses' lives a misery. Take a wild guess at what her story arc's going to be. They're all lured overseas to Dev Patel's eponymous run-down Jaipur hotel, where the young entrepreneur plans to "outsource retirement", but is being forced into an arranged marriage.

All your favourite gags are here - even the venerable one about Brits getting the runs after gorging on curry. It is, of course, pretty much inevitable that someone will croak and that the more receptive oldsters will learn plenty of life lessons from the Indian way of life. Indeed, all the expected revelations and emotional outbursts happen right on cue, and there's a multiple pile-up of endings, each delivered with its own fortune cookie philosophy (or Indian equivalent).

On the plus side, it's beautifully photographed by Ben Davis, and Madden gets the best out of his cast, from a splendidly sour, hobnob-hoarding Maggie Smith ("I don't plan ahead at my age. I don't even buy green bananas.") to Judi Dench doing 'Ladies in Lavender' weepy and vulnerable Judi rather than 'J. Edgar'/'Quantum of Solace' stern Judi. And Dev Patel holds his own magnificently in such illustrious company as the relentlessly optimistic manager of the dilapidated hotel, getting many of the best lines. "You have all heard the chimes of midnight," goes his cheery welcoming speech. "Who knows how much time you have left?" (Robin Askew)

Website www.thebestexoticmarigoldhotel.co.uk/

Opens: February 24

Copyright Robin Askew 2012