A new group portrait of Bristolians who put the city on the map is being unveiled at Arnos Vale cemetery. Eugene Byrne gets a sneak preview and reveals Venue’s own version of ‘Some Who Have Made Bristol Famous’.  

Back in 1930, an enormous painting called ‘Some Who Have Made Bristol Famous’ was donated to the city by a mystery benefactor. The painter was Ernest Board, an accomplished artist with lots of Bristol connections. You may also be familiar with his slightly better-known painting of Cabot setting off on his voyage, which hung beside ‘Some Who Have Made Bristol Famous’ for years in the City Museum lobby.

It’s interesting as a view of the sort of people who were thought to be important figures in Bristol’s history in 1930. Thomas Chatterton (tragic boy poet), John Cabot (explorer), WG Grace (beardy cricketer) and Edward Colston (utter bastard) are in it, along with a load of people that even local history enthusiasts have never heard of (Sir Ferdinando Gorges? Sir William Draper?). There are also four members of the Wills tobacco dynasty, one of whom (we’re just guessing here) was probably the mystery benefactor who paid for Board’s epic daub.

To look at it nowadays is to play Spot the Glaring Omission. No Brunel. No trades unionists, socialists or suffragettes. We’re talking mostly nobility, merchants, soldiers, churchmen. Old-school great and good.

So a few years ago, Bristol Cultural Development Partnership thought it might be a nice idea to produce an update of the picture. Painted by artist Simon Gurr, the new version is due to be unveiled at Arnos Vale cemetery on 25 September.

September 25 is the day Arnos Vale annually hosts a commemoration of Indian philosopher Raja Rammohun Roy (who’s buried there), and they thought this would be a good date to reveal the picture too, as he’s featured in it. Victorian social reformer Mary Carpenter, who’s also buried at Arnos Vale, features in both paintings.

Juliette Randall, Arnos Vale chief executive, says: “It will be displayed in our fully restored non-conformist chapel known as the Speilman Centre. This location is ideal as it is our education centre so children and young people visiting from all over Bristol and surrounding areas will be able to view the painting.”

The new picture includes Bristol icons as well as people (and two animals). One of the major challenges, says Gurr, was “making a painting that would engage a 21st-century audience, as opposed to the people who would have seen Ernest Board's original painting when it was unveiled in the 1930s. The approach I took was to find ways of introducing a sense of movement and animation to the painting, trying to avoid the classic stillness of a posed group portrait.”

His favourite subjects? “Paul Dirac had a wonderful face, a gift to any artist. Johnny Morris was a childhood hero, so it was fun to paint him. But I probably got the most pleasure from putting Beryl Cook in the painting. I would love to have seen her version of this group.”

FOR DETAILS ON THE PICTURE’S UNVEILING AND DISPLAY AT ARNOS VALE, SEE WWW.ARNOSVALE.ORG.UK; SIMON GURR’S BLOG ABOUT THE PAINTING IS AT HTTP://BRISTOLFAMOUS.WORDPRESS.COM/

SO WHO’S IN IT, THEN?

Not only does the new painting feature lots of famous folk with Bristol connections, but it also has lots of Bristol icons. So just for funzies, here is a list of people and things represented or hinted at in the picture. See how many of them you can identify. Hint: many (but not all) of the names next to one another in this list are next to one another in the picture … But to check your answers you’ll just have to go and visit the picture in situ at Arnos Vale on or after 25 Sept. Ain’t we stinkers?

People who are also in Ernest Board’s original

Thomas Chatterton, Joseph Fry, John Wesley, Edmund Burke, Hannah More, Edward Colston, John Cabot, WG Grace, Mary Carpenter.

Artists and artistes

Massive Attack, Roni Size, Tricky, Goldfrapp, Portishead, Banksy.

Icons

Wallace & Gromit, Concorde, Harvey’s Bristol Cream, Fry’s Five Boys, Clifton Suspension Bridge, Bristol Fighter, Bristol Coat of Arms, ss Great Britain, Wills Woodbines, Bristol Cars, hot air balloons.

People who are not in the Board original

Sir Allen Lane (1902-1970) Founder of Penguin Books.

Dame Monica Wills (1861-1931) Bristol philanthropist.

Sir George Oatley (1863-1950) Architect who built Bristol Uni’s Wills Building, and lots more local things.

Dorothy Hodgkin (1910-1994) Nobel-Prize-winning chemist and Bristol Uni chancellor.

Paul Dirac (1902-1984) Bristol-born Nobel-Prize-winning physicist.

Elizabeth Blackwell (1821-1910) World’s first woman doctor, born in Bristol.

Isambard Kingdom Brunel (1806-1859)

Samuel Plimsoll (1824-1898) Bristol-born Liberal MP and campaigner for safety at sea.

George Ferguson Bristol architect, former RIBA president, Tobacco Factory bloke, red trousers etc.

Don Cameron Hot air balloon manufacturer.

John Avery Chairman of Avery’s Wine Merchants.

Tony Benn Former MP for Bristol South East.

Paul Stephenson Campaigner who led the Bristol bus boycott in the early 1960s.

Sir Tom Stoppard Playwright who started out as journalist in Bristol.

John Grimshaw Founder and chief executive of Sustrans.

Ernest Bevin (1881-1951) Trade unionist and politician.

Alfred the Gorilla (?-1948) Popular local gorilla.

Archibald E Russell (1904-1995) Aerospace engineer.

Sir George White (1854-1916) Transport entrepreneur, founder of Bristol Aeroplane Company.

Sir Stanley White (1882-1964) Managing director of Bristol Aeroplane Company.

Frank Barnwell (1880-1938) Aeronautical engineer.

Cary Grant (1904-1986) Bristol-born Hollywood legend.

John Atyeo (1932-1993) Footballing hero who refused lucrative offers, preferring to stay with Bristol City.

William Friese-Greene (1855-1921) Pioneer of cinematography.

Johnny Morris (1916-1999) ‘Animal Magic’ TV presenter.

Sir William Slim (1891-1970) Commander of 14th Army in Burma, WW2.

Rajah Rammohun Roy (1772-1833) Indian political and religious thinker who died in Bristol.

Emma Saunders (1841-1927) Known as The Railwaymen’s Friend for her charitable work.

John James (1906-1996) Philanthropist voted Bristol Evening Post’s Bristolian of the (20th) Century in 1999.

Beryl Cook (1926-2008) Popular artist.

AND NOW… THE VENUE VERSION

A few years ago, when the Bristol Cultural Development Partnership secured the sponsorship from some generous individuals to produce an updated version of the painting, they put out a big appeal for suggestions in the local media.

There were over 500 nominations from Evening Post readers alone. Please don’t ask how many suggestions Venue readers made. It was from these that the final list for the new painting was made.

Anyway, with the greatest possible respect to old and modern versions, we at Venue thought we’d have a go at making one of our own. We can’t afford any fancy artists, but we do have scissors and gum and a photograph of the 1930 version.

From here, we commissioned a high-powered committee of expert historians and local commentators who deliberated for months as to who should be included.

Ha-ha! Just kidding! The list was made by an overworked hack toiling alone in the office in August while everyone else was off having fun on their holidays.

It was decided to exclude anyone who’s in either of the proper paintings. Also, we figured it would only be fair to bring in Bath as well, since in the coming decades Bath is fated to become a suburb of Bristol anyway, connected umbilically to the mother city by a seamless ribbon of tasteless housing and bendy buses.

And so, Venue magazine proudly unveils its epic historic piece of art:

SOME WHAT’S MADE BRISTOLANDBATH FAMOUS, INNIT

1. Ken Loach Leftie film-maker, Bath resident and Bath City FC’s most famous supporter.

2. William Herschel (1738-1822) Lived in Bath when he discovered Uranus. Not mine. Yours.

3. Fred Wedlock (1942-2010) Entertainer and professional Bristolian. ‘The Oldest Swinger in Town’ doesn’t sound like satire any more.

4. Bill Bailey Keynsham’s most famous ex-resident. He also speaks fluent Klingon. No, really.

5. Arnold Ridley Bath-born playwright, genuine WW1 war hero, achieved immortality as incontinent Private Godfrey in ‘Dad’s Army’.

6. Lord Archer of Weston-super-Mare Novelist and former Tory Party vice-chair. Also perjurer, Bristol Rovers fan and murderer of the English language. There’s nothing in the rules about us having to be proud of everyone in our picture.

7. Darth Vader Actor Dave Prowse is from Bristol you know.

8. Gary Glitter From national treasure to celebrity nonce in the space of a single visit to the Cribbs Causeway branch of PC World.

9. Jacob Rees-Mogg Tory MP for North East Somerset. The Times once called him “David Cameron’s worst nightmare”. If you don’t know why, ask the internet.

10. Jane Couch Woman boxer, famously campaigned for the right to fight men.

11. Professor Jean Golding Started the Children of the Nineties project, collecting health statistics on thousands of kids for medical research that’s already saved countless lives.

12.Chris Chalkley Unofficial spokesman for Stokes Croft, the art, the cultural happenings etc.

13. Justin Lee Collins Funny bloke on the telly.

14. Nicolas Cage Lived in Bath for a while. See also Depp, Johnny.

15. Prof Colin Pillinger Failed to put us on Mars, but we don’t mind. Only famous science boffin to talk with Bristol accent.

16. Charlie from ‘Casualty’ Nuff said.

17. Steve Merchant Did we ever tell you that he used to work for Venue?

18. Vicky Pollard  Comedian Matt Lucas went to Bristol University, where he presumably learned how to laugh at local people from his posho student mates.

19. Julie Burchill Gobby proletarian.

20. Angela Carter (1940-1992) Right important feminist/novelist, lived in Bristol for most of 1960s.

21. A Pavement Cyclist See 6 above.

22. Captain Picard Celebrity slaphead Patrick Stewart went to Bristol Old Vic Theatre School.

23. Sir John Harington (1560-1612) Elizabethan courtier and poet. Invented and installed the world’s first proper toilet at his home at Kelston Manor, near Bath.

24. Haile Selassie I, Emperor of Ethiopia Driven from his country by Mussolini, lived in exile in Bath 1936-41.

25. Peter Gabriel Rock legend, only with better personality than Van Morrison (36).

26. Harry Patch (1898-2009) Last surviving soldier to have fought in WW1 and major celebrity in later life, saying no war was worth it.

27. Keith Floyd (1943-2009) TV chef and celebrity drunk started his career in Bristol.

28. William Grey Walter (1910-1977) American-born neurologist, socialist and robotics pioneer. Laid the foundations for Bristol’s pre-eminence both in neurology and robots.

29. Damien Hirst Bristol-born pickled shark artist.

30. Cathy Barry Porn megastar and, since she was in ‘Skins’, serious actress, too.

31. Chris Morris Elusive satirist, Bristol Uni and Radio Bristol alumnus. ‘The Day Today’, ‘Four Lions’, ‘Brass Eye’. Also here to represent Bristol and Bath’s large demographic of Nathan Barleys.

32. Professor Joe McGeehan Bristol Uni physicist who invented the mobile phone. Well, sort of. Thx Joe lol.

33. Walter Sickert (1860-1942)  Dead famous and important painter who lived (and died) in Bath. Some people, notably American crime writer Patricia Cornwell, claim he was also Jack the Ripper. Most experts consider this to be bollocks.

34. The Venue Editor Because we can!

35. Jacqueline Wilson Bath-born children’s author, tackles difficult issues, tries to reply to every single fan letter. Thoroughly good egg.

36.  Van Morrison Bath resident, rock legend. I wouldn’t pay a hundred quid to see him, mind.

37. Jane Austen (1775-1817) Lived in Bath. Hated Bath.

38. Ian Holloway Footballer and manager. Just ask the internet for some of his quotes to get the measure of his true Bristolian awesomeness.

39. Long John Silver He’s a fictional character, ye lubbers! Long John and his parrot Cap’n Flint are as bogus as a wooden doubloon, belike. But he’s why everyone knows that pirates talk with Bristol accents, yarr, avast (etc).

40. The Feral Chicken Legendary creature, like the unicorn or the phoenix, variously sighted at different times living wild on the streets of Southville, Totterdown and Knowle. There was probably more than one.

THOSE WE DIDNT HAVE ROOM FOR...

Richard Ameryke (14-something-or-other to 15-something-or-other) Bristol merchant and customs collector in the late 1400s who paid Cabot an annual pension on behalf of King Henry VII for discovering a new continent. Which was named after Ameryke. Obviously.

Billy Butlin (1899-1980)  Spent his childhood in Bedminster, went on to invent holiday camps.

Robinson Crusoe Modelled on Alexander Selkirk, who was marooned on a Pacific Island in the early 1700s where his main sources of food, clothing and indeed companionship were all goats. Rescued by Bristol sailors, he allegedly used to walk round Queen Square in his goat-skins.

Amelia Edwards (1831-1892) Pioneering female travel writer and Egyptologist.

Edith Garrud (1872-1971) Bath-born women’s rights campaigner and martial artist. She taught judo to suffragettes so’s they could defend meetings and escape arrest. How cool is that? Seriously, Bath people, you want to make a statue of her, you do.

Francis Greenway (1777-1837) The only forger ever to be honoured by appearing on a banknote, Greenway was a Bristol architect sentenced to be transported to Australia for forging legal documents. In Australia he designed many of the earliest buildings in New South Wales and so his portrait was on the Australian $10 bill in the 1960s and 70s.

William Herapath (1796-1868) Bristol chemist and medical man. He solved a murder mystery by having the victim exhumed and proving she’d been poisoned with arsenic, giving him a strong claim to have been the world’s first forensic scientist. Which is pretty cool, no?

A £300-an-hour Consultant Where would Bristol City Council be without consultants? They help councillors kick difficult decisions into the long grass and council officers cover their arses. Consultants, we salute you!

Copyright Eugene Byrne 2011